Fear of Milonga

The fact is that some folks have a justifiable fear of Milonga! No not the dance party, nor the music at the milonga, no…this fear refers to the abject fear that is expressed by some people when Milonga music is played because now they must dance ‘Milonga’ moves to milonga music. The reason ? Either it’s the speed at which it is seemingly danced, or the music that is perceived to be ‘fast’, movements/steps/patterns/figures that are associated and specific to Milonga. Some people just freak right out when it comes to milonga. Some people actually break out in a cold sweat at the very thought of it, Lead or Follow. 

To be fair there are some that get all excited about.

They love it.

However have you noticed that when a milonga tanda comes that the floor clears ? And all of a sudden all those people that say that they ‘love’ milonga aren’t dancing it ? They either leave the room, or are sitting it out ?

There’s a reason for that (several actually): Fear.

Milonga is all about the non-compressive embrace, clear weight changes, and absolute collections, get that right and you’re onto something. It’s just that most people don’t, and they end up stepping all over someone’s feet, or toes, and then there’s blood everywhere, and someone looks silly and, and, and…

Mostly this is a fear from a leading perspective. From the lead’s perspective, there’s so much more going on, and so quickly. That they’re overwhelmed and rather than look silly, or (rightfully) step on someone’s toes, they’ll sit out the milonga tanda. Then there’s the inevitable judgement of getting ‘milonga’ wrong! OMG!!! (heavens!).

To be fair, there a host of other reasons why some people don’t dance but a single milonga tanda in a night … if that! One reason is that, like it or not…your idea of milonga, and someone else’s idea of milonga are exactly the same (or as is often the case, not even in the same realm). Then there’s the embrace issues, the compression issues, the milonga musical choice issues, not having an available partner that hears milonga the same way, just to name a few.

There is also the fear of milonga from the Follower’s perspective. Mostly it comes in the form of ‘please god let me get this one right…no screw ups!”. It’s there, it does happen. 

Milonga fear is very real, very palpable, and very intimidating. It can keep someone from enjoying what is otherwise a very simple form of Argentine Tango! It can keep them from studying the dance further, it can stop them really, once they have a bad experience and it just appears to get worse each time. 

Oy!

The question comes up, if all of that is true, how do you solve for ‘X’? Simple. You push through it. The fear is a perception really, it’s not real. Yes you can step on someone’s foot, but that fear is there always, less so once you have mastered proprioception. However aside from that…there is real reason for it to exist, and you really do have to break it down to its base elements, slow it down, and then work the f*ck out it. Milonga is one those places where you have to push until it gives, and eventually it does. You can achieve mastery over Milonga through perseverance, patience, time, and instruction. That last part is a given, but so many people don’t take advantage of the milonga skill set of their local teachers because they don’t want to look foolish or silly.

MORE REMINDERS

Getting To Buenos Aires

You’ve been dancing for a while, and you keep seeing these posts about Buenos Aires. Your dream has slowly developed to go to Buenos Aires, to experience for yourself what all the fuss is about. First there’s the dancing, you’ve heard it’s the best. There’s the shoes! OMG the shoes. Then there are friends that have been and rave about teacher X or Milonga Y. You’ve see the videos of performances at Salon Canning (but didn’t know it was Salon Canning), the pictures from Milongas, and thought to yourself that it didn’t look all that challenging than your local milonga there are just more people. You’ve heard that Spanish isn’t necessarily a requirement because there’s a lot of foreigners that speak English, and a good portion of the teachers speak it too. So you if you went, you wouldn’t really need to learn Spanish. 

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More Classes

At some point along the curve of your tango life, continuing to take classes seems like a really stupid idea. You’ve learned everything you need to know to get around the floor. Practice isn’t really that important any longer. And going to Milongas is really the important part, so who needs to practice ?

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The ‘Right’ Shoes

Some day soon, you’re going to want the perfect pair of shoes. These shoes in your mind, completes the Tango image you have for yourself dancing socially. They make you look elegant. They make you feel like you can do anything. Mind you that image is an illusion in your head, but let’s not quibble about reality. These shoes are either handmade in Italy, Istanbul, Buenos Aires, or somewhere and/or something in between. They’re the shoes you always dreamed of. They’ve got all the features that you believe will allow you to become, finally, the dancer that you’ve always wanted.

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Head Tilt

The tilt or position of one’s head (for lead or follow) is far more important than you might imagine. First and foremost, where the head points the body tends to follow. There’s a reason for this, your equilibrium, contrary to popular belief your balance is not generated in the center of your belly. This ‘myth’ is better known and often repeated as to indicate your ‘core’ muscles. This is a lie.

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La Viruta

Let’s get the details out of the way. The sight lines are awful. It’s dark, pitch dark in certain parts of the room. It’s crowded, and hot even with the A.C on in the ‘summer’. The drinks are expensive. The tables are small, assuming you can find one or have reserved one (which is recommended). The ‘hot’ area, meaning a place to ‘get’ dances, in the room is in front of the bar at the back left side of the room, and the entrance fee is on par with everywhere else (see end). There’s a restaurant upstairs, and on Mondays and Tuesday nights there is Salsa there. The rest of the week, it’s all Tango baby. There are classes nearly every night of the week, for different levels.

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Watching The Feet

Put simply – If you can see your partner’s feet while dancing with them…there’s a problem. The problem ? Well actually there are several that you’re completely unaware of, below are just a few of them….

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The Unseen

There is an unspoken, unwritten rule with regards to Argentine Tango. Actually there are a few of them. However, one of them is that once you are acknowledged you are now persona grata. However, if you are NOT acknowledged….then you are Persona Non-Grata. You don’t exist. They don’t see you. And the more that you stand in front of them, the less that they’ll see you. You are the ‘Unseen’.

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Tango Reputation

No matter how hard you try (positively or negatively) you’re going to acquire a ‘Tango Reputation’. Meaning ? How you engage socially, how you dance, who you dance with, how ‘good’ you are, how often you dance, if you teach, where you teach, who you teach with, whether or not (if you teach) you dance only with your students or with others, if you teach others while dancing (tsk, tsk, tsk), whether or not you dance milonga, how good your milonga skills are, whether or not you lead and follow or not.

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Perfectionism

There are those of us that separate being ‘good’ as being good enough, and anything beyond that is just ‘unnecessary’. It’s really about getting around the floor, and if no one complains about the embrace, or you don’t hit anything, or anyone, and you can throw in that cool move now and again, so much the better!

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