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Giving Feedback

see > ‘giving and receiving feedback‘

This is probably one the most important things in Argentine Tango that you can do for yourself and the people that you dance with. Giving constructive, clear, concise, clean, direct, and most of all, honest feedback. It is what is required. While feedback is subjective, it is not personal, it’s what is going on for you in the construct of the dance, the walk, the embrace, and how someone moves in relation to you.

The Trick ? Is to be honest with the people that you dance with, and the more honest you are, while it may be painful to say or painful to hear, assuming that feedback is of a ‘hard’ nature, it can be one of the better things you can do for someone, and yourself. Failure to do anything else is wasting their time and yours!

To be fair, some people don’t want to hear feedback. They like what they’re doing. And they either believe how they dance, their embrace, their walk, their choice of vocabulary (over and over and over again), their execution of said vocabulary (too slow, too much, too sloppy), their interpretation of the music is just fine, or they’re ignorant of what they’re doing, or because no one has ‘complained’ that everything is just fine. From their perspective they just want to ‘dance’, and feedback is pointless. These same people hear feedback, and really any feedback, as negative. Or they attribute the feedback to the person that’s giving it as being a perfectionist. These people are not ready to hear feedback. So giving them feedback is a complete waste of your time, effort, and energy. 

Start with a simple question “Would you like some feedback ?”. If the answer is “Yes”, then proceed with three ‘i’ statements, and only three. Do not go beyond this. Most people can only hear at most three, and that’s pushing it. ‘I’ statements are “I think…”, “I feel…”, “I see…”, “I hear…”, “I am experiencing …”, etc. “I feel pressure from your hand”, “I see that you stepping away from me”, “I hear the beat in the music as ….”, etc. Capice ?

MORE REMINDERS

The ‘Passion’ Lie

February 14, 2017 No Comments

“The Passion of Tango” or “Tango is a Passionate Dance”. You have heard these statements repeated over and over again, from so many people, teachers, dancers, and teacher/performers that it’s almost like second nature at this point. These statements and others like them promote an idea or a series of ideas about Argentine Tango that get people into the dance, and ultimately to stay with the dance.

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The ‘D’ Word

August 23, 2017 No Comments

At the beginning of our Tango lives, most of us who start out taking a weekly series to get our feet wet, just so that we can say we ‘learned’ to tango. If only that were the end of it. It’s not. The classes never stop really. If you want to improve. If you want to get better and better dances with better partners, then you need to improve.

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A Community Tanda

April 11, 2018 No Comments

What is a Community Tanda ? Put simply it’s a Tanda whereby the participants of a Milonga are invited, and then wholly encouraged, to dance with someone that they have NOT danced with before or at all.

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The Row of Women That Sit

February 6, 2017 No Comments

They’re at every milonga in the world (with an exception or two – Russia & Asia). Every. Milonga. THAT row of women, of a certain age, and a certain disposition, that for a few valid reasons (pretty or not) who are sitting, and not by choice. Most have been sitting for more than an hour or two.

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Compression

November 26, 2016 No Comments

‘Compression’ means that you’re either pulling your partner into you and/or at the same time restricting their movements in a myriad of ways (hand, arm, head). As a Lead this typically manifests itself with your right forearm. As a Follower compression is typically done with your left forearm around your lead’s shoulder (tsk, tsk, tsk, it should not be there).  

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The Taxi Dancer Paradox

March 5, 2017 No Comments

The Taxi Dancer Paradox is that hiring or being one creates an undesirable social stigma and yet at the same time is actually a very practical, if not entirely reasonable resource to have available to solve the ‘waiting’ for a dance problem.

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The Negative of Tango

May 1, 2017 No Comments

There is distinct negative side to Tango. Ask anyone that has done any level of work to improve their dance, and they’ll tell you that it is at once eye opening, again blistering, noxious and wholly demoralizing. Demoralizing to the point where they want to quit dancing altogether.

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancing! Whereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

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