Giving Feedback

see > ‘giving and receiving feedback

This is probably one the most important things in Argentine Tango that you can do for yourself and the people that you dance with. Giving constructive, clear, concise, clean, direct, and most of all, honest feedback. It is what is required. While feedback is subjective, it is not personal, it’s what is going on for you in the construct of the dance, the walk, the embrace, and how someone moves in relation to you.

The Trick ? Is to be honest with the people that you dance with, and the more honest you are, while it may be painful to say or painful to hear, assuming that feedback is of a ‘hard’ nature, it can be one of the better things you can do for someone, and yourself. Failure to do anything else is wasting their time and yours!

To be fair, some people don’t want to hear feedback. They like what they’re doing. And they either believe how they dance, their embrace, their walk, their choice of vocabulary (over and over and over again), their execution of said vocabulary (too slow, too much, too sloppy), their interpretation of the music is just fine, or they’re ignorant of what they’re doing, or because no one has ‘complained’ that everything is just fine. From their perspective they just want to ‘dance’, and feedback is pointless. These same people hear feedback, and really any feedback, as negative. Or they attribute the feedback to the person that’s giving it as being a perfectionist. These people are not ready to hear feedback. So giving them feedback is a complete waste of your time, effort, and energy. 

Start with a simple question “Would you like some feedback ?”. If the answer is “Yes”, then proceed with three ‘i’ statements, and only three. Do not go beyond this. Most people can only hear at most three, and that’s pushing it. ‘I’ statements are “I think…”, “I feel…”, “I see…”, “I hear…”, “I am experiencing …”, etc. “I feel pressure from your hand”, “I see that you stepping away from me”, “I hear the beat in the music as ….”, etc. Capice ?

MORE REMINDERS

Physiological Control

Control is a really hard thing to get. It takes a while to have precise, or precision, control over exact foot placement, which is insanely important. It takes time to build up the necessary minute control that one needs to have over one’s body. A millimeter here, a millimeter there, cumulatively, can make all the difference between a dance that sucks (for both parties) and one that is absolutely fabulous. Precision control is where all the toys are at.

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The ‘Passion’ Lie

“The Passion of Tango” or “Tango is a Passionate Dance”. You have heard these statements repeated over and over again, from so many people, teachers, dancers, and teacher/performers that it’s almost like second nature at this point. These statements and others like them promote an idea or a series of ideas about Argentine Tango that get people into the dance, and ultimately to stay with the dance.

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Presentation Tango

There is a very popular idea in Tango that gets paraded around a lot, an idea which gets confused with Social Tango which is NOT Social Tango at all but rather it’s about the steps, patterns, and figures is known as ‘Show’ Tango, ’Scenario’ Tango, ‘Stage’ Tango, ‘Fantasia’ Tango, or Presentation Tango.

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Tango Frustration

Contrary to what you may have heard, the reality of Tango for some people is, as a Lead as well as a Follow, is not all happy and lovely. The fact is that some of those dancers go to the Milonga knowing that they are going to sit, a lot. And that sitting leads a winding path through a host of emotions that ultimately lands them on the door step of Tango Frustration.

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Dancing In Berlin

Berlin is known for many reasons around the world, it’s culture, it’s Berlin accent of German, it’s fact as a post-cold war city, and most recently the financial capital of Europe. Tango was certainly not on that list. If however, you happen to be a Tango dancer, and at a very specific place in your dance, then you have heard Yoda-like whispers of “Berlin…you should go to Berlin…”. There’s a reason for those whispers, which has turned into ‘talk’. It’s because there is a reason for all the ‘fuss’ over Tango in Berlin.

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Practice with Tango Sticks

At some point along your tango curve, you have wanted 1.) to practice a step, a pattern, or a figure. Or 2.) you have seen something that you want to try out. Or 3.) you’re imagining an idea of how something might work and want to try it. In all three of these instances, you will need a practice partner. You’ll need to schedule their time against yours. And once you’re in the same room with them, balance their issues of how they do X vs. how you engage X. And once that challenge is overcome then it’s getting into the idea of what it is you had in mind to begin with. All told, this could be several hours or days between the idea and the actual doing of it.

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The Row of Men That Stand

There’s that row of men that stand at every milonga. They hover. They waver from side to side. They stand with their arms crossed. All by themselves. They never sit, and they seemingly never dance. There’s usually a row of them, more than 3 or 4. And no matter what happens, you almost never see them dance. There’s a reason for that. It’s because a good portion of the better Followers in the room has had a less than desirable experience with them.

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The Follower’s Work

The Follower’s Work. These words may come as a surprise to you dear reader considering that this page has seemingly ‘bashed’ or disparaged the role of the Follow in any number of ways, however: The role of the Follower is work. This is by no means a complete list, but just a taste: A Follower must master in order to ‘dance’ with a particular Lead their stability, their walk backwards, and forwards to the side without wobbling.

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Keep something in the back of your mind: What you’re seeing in a youtube video is a couple that is performing for the 15th row for a room full of people. They’re not social dancingWhereas this website is all about ‘Social Tango’  or how to make things function on a social dance floor. Social Dance floor ? Your local milonga! They are showing you flashy moves as a presentation, to show off! But not stopping and talking about how this works which is what you need to see. This website and all of it’s content show you the how and  why you’d want to put that piece of vocabulary there, or how to make things work. This website is all about those things and more!

You could watch Tango YouTube videos and thereby spend your time, trying to infer, and figure out how things may work in that particular situation. Bend your body this way or that, twist and force this position or that. Place your foot here or there and figure it out. This is known as Tango Twister.  Which can be a lot of fun, but more than likely it won’t help you, because you’re missing something: The explanation from an experienced teacher showing you how to properly excute this stuff from a Leading Perspective as well as from a Following Perspective!

The goal of YouTube videos is to get you to study with those teachers in person. The goal of Tango Topics videos allows you to work at your own pace, in the comfort of your own space, so that you can play them over and over again to improve your understanding of the vocabulary or technique being described to therefore better your dancing experience. The goal of classes and workshops is to get you to come back over and over and over again, thereby spending more money with that teacher. This website and the videos under it are here to act as a resource for you to help you to improve your dance. Pay once and you’re done.

Eventually, one way or another you’re going to pay for this lesson, either here and now, or with them. TANSTAAFL! The difference between that lesson and this ? Is that you get to play this lesson over and over and over again. Further still, there are supporting materials (other videos) that help to explain the language and the underlying technique of how and why things work, so you can easily reference those things in the corresponding articles that go with the material, and or any language in the Tango Topics Dictionary. 

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